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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25005205">It's You I've Been Craving</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DilynAliceBlake/pseuds/DilynAliceBlake'>DilynAliceBlake</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Incest, Love Confessions, M/M, References to Drugs, im not slut shaming roman ya boi is just jealous, remrom - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:55:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,942</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25005205</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DilynAliceBlake/pseuds/DilynAliceBlake</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a party.  Roman says Remus' name during a pretty incriminating moment while pinned to a wall.  Remus doesn't believe Roman's interest can be genuine, and Roman thinks he's finally been caught out and has ruined everything.  Also, while trying and failing to cope with his feelings for his brother, Roman turned into kind of a slut.  Repression failed, time to face facts.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>63</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Remus and Roman are at a house party.  Remy never fails to throw parties worth regretting in the morning, and Roman might have been more sensible if the six shots he'd had had been from the same type of alcohol.  He also strongly suspects that the punch was spiked, because it always is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus left to join his friends when Roman started drinking, because he thinks that Roman is a boring drunk.  This is only circumstantially true.  The more alcohol is in his system, the harder Roman over compensates when repressing his desires.  The last thing he needs is to end up dropping to his knees or agreeing to arson because he let down his guard and suddenly stopped fighting the urge to please Remus that he usually locks behind ironclad resistance and reason.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Remus has gone upstairs to find where the drugs are, and Roman has scouted out someone willing to partake in a bit of no strings frotting.  Then just when the guy who has him pushed against the wall gets a hand into Roman's shirt his brother comes gliding back down the stairs, and Roman's control is already discarded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Remus," he moans, and despite the thump if the music and laughs of the crowd, fate apparently hates him, and there's enough of a lull he was heard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His impromptu paramore is yanked from his place roughly, and Roman spends a moment before his body catches up grinding against the empty air.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"Janus," Remus growls, "Mentioned that by now you were probably somewhere with your legs spread or on your knees, and I didn't believe him, because Janus is a known liar who likes to stir drama.  But Virgil laughed about it, and I got to find out that the exact behavior you are always warning me so staunchly against is </span>
  <em>
    <span>par for the course</span>
  </em>
  <span> any time you get more than two drinks into you, and no one ever bothered to mention before that you were a ginormous hypocrite!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roman has been hiding a part of himself from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roman felt the need to hide some part of himself, to never mention his hookups.  Not as potential love interests, not as conquests, not at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maybe," Remus' mind whispers, "He knew you'd be jealous.  Knew seeing him like this would only feed into the way you think about him.  Maybe he didn't want to confide in you because he knows he can't trust you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>More than anything he's afraid that that's true.  That they're growing apart because he can't properly keep his feelings from coming between them.  That he's already well on his way to ruining what they have.  Roman is always so carefully proper when he's drunk around Remus.  It turns out that's got more to do with Remus himself than the alcohol, and the implied rejection stings</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Roman's mind is struggling to catch up under the haze of alcohol, but he is usually pinned somewhere being ordered about and fucked by now, so he's having trouble finding his equilibrium with Remus suddenly looming so close.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"...I'm in trouble?" he hedges, the wall supporting him much less comfortable under the tide of his brother's disappointment and scrutiny.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're apparently the town slut!" Remus hisses at him, and maybe his wires are more crossed than he thought, because Roman isn't fast enough to stop the "Sorry, sir," that falls demurely from his swollen lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus shudders before leaning in close, and Roman tilts his head up eagerly for a kiss.  Remus, however, jerks out of range before carefully taking stock of his pupils.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"All you've had is alcohol?" he checks, and Roman nods with a pout.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You were watching your drinks?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes," Roman agrees, because he always does.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How many fingers am I holding up?" Remus asks, and Roman groans in annoyance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's two," he says, trying to slide past his brother to find another catch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gets caught by the hair, realizing when his next step yanks against the grip so hard he moans aloud.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Remus," he tries, but it sounds too breathy to be an argument.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Roman Prince, we are going </span>
  <em>
    <span>home</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and I will </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> be taking advantage of your inebriated state!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What if I beg you to?" Roman asks hungrily, leaning against Remus as suggestively as his coordination allows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You are too drunk to consent," Remus says firmly, and it's clearly as much to himself as to Roman.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So if I begged you while sober?" he purrs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Home!" Remus snaps, before his control can fray more.  His dreams will be haunted by this tease of hope, he knows.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Roman's memory comes to him in fits and starts, none of it clear over the pounding in his skull.  He's been tucked into his own bed, and there's a glass of water and some alka-seltzer on his side table.  Guilt slams into him , dread rising quickly along with nausea.</p><p>With the cat out of the proverbial bag, he has a rough day ahead of him.  If he's really lucky, Remus won't even hate him by the end of it.</p><p>By the time he's scrubbed his teeth clean and made it to the top of the stairs he can almost pretend he isn't panicking.</p><p>"Remus," he practices quietly, walking as slowly as he can excuse to himself, "It is my duty to- No.  I feel I should apologize for my disorderly conduct yesterday… Disorderly, what a kind way to say I slipped up and threw myself at my brother."</p><p>"Oh I wouldn't say <em> threw </em> yourself," Remus teases, but the physical distance between them aches with what they haven't said, and the joke falls flat.  "Really, the state you were in, I suspect you might have gone after anything with legs." Halfway across the livingroom and Roman debates whether or not it would be cowardly to make a break for the door.</p><p>"..."</p><p>"Not going to deny it?"</p><p>"Is there any point?"</p><p>"Oh, why so glum?  You can't think that I of all people would ever judge you for your mistakes, Ro."</p><p>Roman flinches at the word mistake.  It's a stark reminder that his advances were unwanted, and some of his posture deflates along with his false bravado.</p><p>"Right.  Well, in the future I'll be sure to- What are you <em> doing </em>?" Roman squeaks, just far enough into the kitchen that Remus can back him into the counter and lean so close that Roman's sure his heart stuttered.</p><p>"I'm checking your pupils," Remus says,  uncharacteristically quiet, and then lifts a hand to cup Roman's cheek.  He can't help but sway into the touch, and something sparks behind Remus' eyes at the motion.</p><p>"You're still attracted to me," Remus murmurs.</p><p>"What, you thought I might sleep it off?  That would be ironic, considering how many years I spent waiting for such a boon-"</p><p>"Roman," Remus growls, and his breath catches at Remus' suddenly seductive tone.  "Do you remember what you told me last night?"</p><p>"...Not...Perhaps not clearly enough for it to count towards this conversation?" Roman hedges.</p><p>"You said that if I wouldn't kiss you while you were drunk that you would beg me while sober.  Be a good twin brother and fulfill your promise."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Like a straw house in a windstorm, Remus sees Roman's resistance falter and fail.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Please- Please kiss me," he murmurs, but it's quiet and ashamed, and Remus wants better for them.  He craves their collision, wants them to explode hot and bright like a super nova.  Remus wants Roman to acknowledge who he's begging for, as the first apology for all the time they could have had this but </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn't</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you sure?" he teases, but there's a bite to his tone.  He hasn't forgotten that Roman was keeping secrets, and what a </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupid</span>
  </em>
  <span> thing not to trust him with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>You kept the same secret</span>
  </em>
  <span>," his brain taunts, and Remus stomps the thought down.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, Remus, god, yes," Roman gasps out, and hearing his name like a prayer from his aroused brother's lips is a soothing balm to some of the hurt.  But the part of Remus that's usually being insulted by dream Roman or has woken up by this point is still hesitant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not certain," he dithers, trailing a hand down Roman's collar bone to fiddle with the first button of the shirt he hadn't dared try to change Roman out of the night before.  "I think I need your full and enthusiastic consent…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Remus, to the gods above, I swear right now if you won't fuck me I will go out and find someone who can, and I'll be calling your name while they do it!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <span>Well fuck</span>
  <em>
    <span> that</span>
  </em>
  <span>!" Remus thinks vehemently, possessiveness rising in him like a tide.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"When I'm done with you wont ever consider letting a stranger take my place again," he snarls, "Not that it matters, because I will never, </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever</span>
  </em>
  <span> be done with you!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roman barely has time to gasp out a "Promise?" before Remus is kissing him.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Remus kisses him like he can drink away the touch of every kiss that came before him.  He's demanding and apologetic all at once.  He kisses because they're making up for lost time, and Roman can taste the promise on his brother's tongue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus pants against his brother's skin, Roman perched on the counter looking at him with every ounce of love Remus had always been worried about seeing aimed at someone else.  He can scarcely believe he is allowed this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You thought of me," he begs, grip on Roman's hips tight.  The sentence doesn't bear finishing, and doesn't need it, either.  Roman knows what he's asking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'You thought of me, when they touched you.  You looked at them and wished their faces were mine?  Everyone who fucked you was only a stand in, a shadow puppet for me.  You wanted me.'. It's his own insecurity that made him ask it, but Roman doesn't begrudge him the answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Every time," he whispers.  Remus hates that he feels he has to whisper these things.  Hates that his brother finds his own wants shameful. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <b>
    <em>Good</em>
  </b>
  <span>," he growls, bold and possessive, because Roman must never doubt that it's reciprocated.  That if it's shame, it's one they share.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I imagined you, too," he whispers.  Remus' whisper isn't soft with shame.  Instead of sin, he shapes his words into secrets of kindness and conspiracy.  Something just for his Roman, just between them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I thought of you late at night," he breathes into Roman's ear.  "I thought of kissing you, and fucking you, and I thought…" he pauses here.  He's a good story teller, and knows where to put suspense.  A pause to preface the most important part. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I thought of our wedding," he shares, these words hushed and sacred, barely stirring air.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Roman woke up dizzy, from lingering alcohol and regrets and dread.  Now he's dizzy with something else entirely.  His blood is tingling in his veins.  He can't process anything beyond those words and what they mean.  And they mean so much.  They mean everything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus isn't teasing him and kissing him because he doesn't mind Roman's advances.  Remus is acting this way because he is </span>
  <em>
    <span>in love with him</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This isn't an evening of pity, or a few years before Remus gets bored.  It's not the thrill of the taboo or lust guiding his brother's actions.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Remus is in love with him.  </em>
  </b>
  <span>Remus wants <em><span class="u">forever</span></em>.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You never-" Roman tries.  He tries to remember reality, remember the way his brother never looked twice at anyone, never even pretended to want to settle down.  He wants to doubt, so he won't be disappointed when this shatters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"They weren't <em>you</em>," Remus confides, sounding so broken, years of heartbreak in those three words.  Roman wants to doubt, but hope is stronger, and the trust between them strongest of all.  He can feel the truth down to his soul.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Me and you?" Roman asks, voice still small with the newness of this hope.  But the fear and shame are gone, and he remembers the confidence of childhood, back before either of them had thought to question or doubt the bond between them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Me and you," Remus agrees, and sweeps him up bridal style to carry him over the threshold of their new life.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The seriousness doesn't last long once they reach a bed.  Remus can carry emotions with the best of them, and the memory of the morning will be cherished forever, but Roman is glad when the moment is over and the Remus who's always been there shows back up in his brother's mischievous smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think I'll make an excellent husband.  I'll start with the performance of my marital duties."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roman is tossed, quite literally tossed, onto the bed.  For the moment he's suspended in air a startled squeal escapes him, but then he's landing on soft bedding, and Remus is climbing over him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You look a treat," he says devilishly, and Roman suddenly realizes that he's spread out on their parent's bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Remus!" he yelps, trying halfheartedly to scramble out from beneath him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's the best bed in the house," Remus insists, "Don't tell me you've never thought about it.  It's not even two o'clock yet- Plenty of time to change the sheets before they get home."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In Roman's defense, Remus stripped off his shirt while saying that, and in the face of that much exposed skin and no penalty for staring too long it was inevitable he caved.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Remus pops the cap of the lube from the bedside drawer with the confidence of someone who doesn’t care about the world past the current moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmmm, Strawberry,” he says with relish, and licks a drop from the tip before squeezing some of the gel onto his fingers.  “Not that I don’t already want to just eat you up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roman is trembling, reclined with his legs spread, fully naked.  He’s been naked lots of times, but never has he felt this exposed.  He yelps at the chill of the first finger, tensing up in reaction, but Remus is leaning over him and shoving lube in, instead of focusing on stretching him, and Roman blushes at the reminder of his own wanton habits.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh don’t clam up on me now, Bro-Ro.”  Remus accentuates this with a particularly hard shove, two fingers slurping lewdly as they disappear into his hole.  Roman wiggles, trying to ride what he’s getting, but Remus refuses to let him find a pace.  “Sorry I didn’t think ahead to get a ring.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The double entendre, referencing his earlier confession while bringing up a cock ring, is exactly the level of crude and clever that Roman is used to in conversation with Remus.  Less familiar is the look of lust and hunger in his brother’s eyes as he curls his fingers to hear Roman whine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t wait to get in you,” Remus growls, “I’m going to fuck you so hard the neighbors hear it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their nearest neighbors are almost half a mile away, but Roman is reluctant to doubt such a threat when Remus is smiling ferally while lining up his cock.  Then, because he’s mean, and a tease, and loves to watch Roman squirm, Remus stops.  It can’t be easy, sitting poised to thrust with the tip of his cock at Roman’s ass, but Remus manages to look perfectly at ease, as if he has all day to wait.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remus,” Roman pleads, whole body striving towards the fulfillment of being impaled on his brother’s cock, but Remus pulls back, delighting in denying him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want something?  Do you need it, baby?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, god fucking dammit, Remus, just give me your-” his words dissolve into a drawn out moan as he gets what he was asking for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Such a good boy, take brother’s dick,” Remus praises, half out and then in again.  The first thrust has them both breathless with the thrill of it, and then Remus does </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>, twisting his hips, and the time for buildup is passed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God, you’re fucking slick,” Remus groans, like he wasn’t the one to open him up with gobs of sticky strawberry.  “You were so hungry for it.  That’s what you are, </span>
  <em>
    <span>cockhungry</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roman doesn’t have it in him to feel shame.  He wraps his legs around Remus’ hips and drags him as close as he can manage, nodding in eager agreement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, yes, oh, fuck me, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Remus</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”  He draws out and relishes his twin’s name, because he’s never gotten to say it while getting fucked before, and the fact that he’s saying it </span>
  <em>
    <span>to Remus</span>
  </em>
  <span> makes it all so much better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Never imagined you this desperate, Ro, always thought you’d be more uptight.  Can’t say it’s a bad surprise, though.  Not now that you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>my</span>
  </em>
  <span> whore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yesss,” Roman agrees, a sibilant hiss of satisfaction at the claiming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And, </span>
  <em>
    <span>my whore</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Remus says, like it’s a nickname, an endearment, “You’re going to come on my cock,” he commands.  To emphasize, he reaches down to stroke Roman’s dick, and now Roman is lost to the feel, humping between the grip of Remus’ still lube damp hand and Remus fucking him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Roman comes, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>screams</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and Remus has never seen a sight more gorgeous.  Sweaty and desperately keening, mouth open wide for Remus to admire, Roman falls apart beautifully, and Remus made him do it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then, because he’s a good little slut, and can’t seem to help driving Remus wild, Roman, eyes still closed and aftershocks wracking him, says “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus digs his nails into Roman’s skin as he comes and decides that he is </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> going to let his brother get away.  Lucky for him, if Roman got a say he would be in agreement.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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